New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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