I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
