There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
