shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
