It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
