Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
