Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I came so hard my ears popped.
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