so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
