he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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