I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
