You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
