It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
