So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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