There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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