She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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