Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
