But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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