And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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