Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
