Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
