we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
