Where did you get a picture of my penis
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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