He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize