He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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