Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize