woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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