I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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