i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
