You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
