meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize