Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
