I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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