Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
