Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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