I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
