As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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