I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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