I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
And then he peed in my hair
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
