Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
