i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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