i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
