Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
