So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize