My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
