He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
