I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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