his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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