Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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