So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
