I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
