i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
