Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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