remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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