i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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