Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
