it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
