just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
