he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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