I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize