is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize