You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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